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It’s hard to notice our positive attributes at times when we keep focusing on our negative ones. It’s important to keep in mind not to resist or ignore the negative thoughts about yourself, though tempting, because resisting or ignoring them can actually make them worse (Wegner, 1994). What you want to do instead is to acknowledge them in order to challenge them. You should acknowledge thoughts like black-and-white thinking, personalizing, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, and setting unrealistic expectations as these are tell-tale signs that indicate you are experiencing a limiting belief about yourself (Negative Thinking Traps, 2014; Flynn, 2019).
It is only after knowing it’s a negative, self-limiting belief that we can challenge negative thoughts. To challenge them, it’s important to 1. first adopt a curious mindset (Smith, 2022) and 2. Collect proof for and against the thought by asking certain types of questions. You challenge these beliefs by asking questions that test your reality, give you alternative explanations, help you put things in perspective, and use goal-oriented thinking (Pearce, 2021). Try to make asking yourself the following questions a habit whenever you experience a negative thought.
Test your reality
- What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
- Are my thoughts factual, or just my interpretation?
- Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
- How can I find out if these thoughts are true?
Look for alternative explanations
- Are there other ways that I could look at this?
- What else could this mean?
- If I was thinking more positively, how would I perceive this?
Put it in perspective
- Is this as bad as I am making it out to be?
- What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?
- What is the best thing that could happen?
- What is most likely to happen?
Use goal-directed thinking
- Does thinking like this help me to feel good or to achieve my goals?
- What can I do that would help solve the problem?
- What could I instead learn from this, to help me do things/feel better next time?
Manifest Dreams: How to Change Your Negative Beliefs Now
How to Recognize Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
References
Negative Thinking Traps. (2014, November 10). Retrieved from UW Medicine: HarborView Abuse and Trauma Center: https://depts.washington.edu/uwhatc/PDF/TF-%20CBT/pages/4%20Coping%20Skills/Thoughts/Depressive%20Thinking%20Traps.pdf
Pearce, A. (2021, August 19). Reframing Self-Limiting Beliefs. Retrieved from The Open University: https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/psychology/reframing-self-limiting-beliefs
Smith, C. (2022). 11 Tips for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs. Retrieved from Mellowed: https://mellowed.com/limiting-beliefs/
Wegner, D. M. (1994). Ironic Processes of Mental Control. Psychological Review, 101(1), 34-52.
