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I’m sure most of us have struggled with negative thoughts about ourselves. You might question your worth or your abilities from time to time and even how others perceive you. That’s why in today’s blog I’m going to discuss what negative limiting beliefs are and how to start changing them with positive affirmations. Today’s blog is for those of us who want a practical guide to use to change those negative thoughts that may creep up on us from time to time.

I found myself talking with a friend the other day wondering if I’m not well enough to find a job. She said -and I’m going to paraphrase here- she said, “Listen, I think you’ve been focusing too much on your depression. Before, you still had depression, but you would go do your thing, disappear for a while, and then come back. Now I feel like you’re focusing on it all the time. Don’t you think maybe your focus on it is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy?” For those of you who aren’t familiar with self-fulfilling prophecies, they are outcomes that we ourselves create through our thoughts and behaviors.

It’s hard to find a job when we feel we don’t interview well, find a partner when we don’t consider ourselves good enough, or fulfill our goals when we think they’re too lofty. All of those are self-limiting beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs are negative beliefs that “we hold about our abilities or [our] potential that can prevent us from pursuing something we want or need” (Limiting Beliefs, 2022). And that does mean anything that we want or need. The limiting belief can be in any area of our life and be about any of our abilities. Like I said, it can be messing with your love lives, career, or social lives. So how can we start believing otherwise? How can we start having positive beliefs about ourselves?

Luckily there’s 7 steps we can follow that if we do follow can help us get rid of our negative beliefs. They are: Recognize, Acknowledge, Consider, Journal, Challenge, and Replace. If you want to read more tips and the “how-to” about them, make sure to click on the links.

Recognize that you are experiencing a limiting belief. It’s important to recognize limiting beliefs or else they become a self-fulfilling prophecy; “Beliefs impact perception and influence feelings and feelings motivate actions or lack of actions and actions produce the results and consequences that follow. Self-limiting beliefs keep you in repetitive learning cycles, until you change the meaning of experience at the belief level” (Limiting Beliefs, 2022). These are usually unconscious and out of our awareness, so there’s a few things we can do to recognize them.
Don’t try to resist or ignore it. This is like me telling you to not think of a pink elephant. In fact, try your best not to think of a pink elephant. Where did your mind go? I bet you went ahead to think about that pink elephant! This is called the ironic processes theory (Wegner, 1994) and it has the opposite of the intended effect. It makes us think about the unwanted thought more. Instead of resisting or ignoring the thought, acknowledge the thought. Tell yourself it’s just a thought and let it be. “It is important to remember that this inner negative voice only wants to help or protect you in some way: it is a normal, human thing” (Pearce, 2021). Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s only human.
”Consider how you’re limiting beliefs have protected you” (Shoemaker, 2021). Anne Shoemaker explains in “No More Limits” (2021) how “there are times when we hold onto our limiting beliefs because it feels safe, whereas getting outside of our comfort zone means coming face-to-face with the scary and unknown.” Don’t let your thoughts stop you from becoming who you are meant to be in life. Don’t let your fear of the unknown stop you from fulfilling your dreams, whatever those may be.
Keep a Journal and write your negative thoughts down. Sometimes, it’s hard to determine what the limiting belief of the negative thought is. Not only that, but you might forget about the thought. So, you might want to keep a journal with you and write the negative thoughts down as they come up (Pearce, 2021; Flynn, 2019). “Reflecting on what is in the journal may help you recognise [sic] the most common self-limiting beliefs to work on” (Pearce, 2021). Don’t let your comfort zone stop you from achieving your goals. Most importantly, don’t let your thoughts keep you from your goals.
Challenge your limiting beliefs. In Andrea Pearce’s “Reframing Self-limiting Beliefs” (2021), I learned that we challenge them by asking certain types of questions: questions that test our reality, give us alternative explanations, help us put things in perspective, and use goal-oriented thinking.
Replace your limiting belief(s) with positive affirmations (Shoemaker, 2021). “Affirmations are positive, specific statements that help you visualize, and believe in, what you’re affirming to yourself, helping you to make positive changes to your life” (Crawford, 2017). Positive affirmations can help us change our limiting beliefs and help us start believing we are worthy enough to find the kind of person, job, or life we want once we are ready. “I am worthy enough,” “I am smart enough,” and “I am interesting enough” are just a few examples of positive affirmations. For more on How to Make Positive Affirmations Work for You, click here.
“Start living from the perspective of this new, liberating truth. You might not fully buy into it. That’s fine. Try it on. It may feel awkward at first, like putting on a coat that’s too big. But if you keep telling yourself the truth, it will eventually fit, and you’ll get more comfortable with it” (Flynn, 2019). There’s no point in telling yourself all of those positive things if you don’t walk the talk. Start living out those positive thoughts. Start acting on them. Remember, don’t let your comfort zone stop you from living your dreams. What about you? Are there some limiting beliefs that you have been struggling with for a while now? What are some limiting beliefs you can start replacing with positive affirmations? Don’t forget to leave it down in the comments.

“Start living from the perspective of this new, liberating truth. You might not fully buy into it. That’s fine. Try it on. It may feel awkward at first, like putting on a coat that’s too big. But if you keep telling yourself the truth, it will eventually fit, and you’ll get more comfortable with it.”
(Flynn, 2019)

References

Crawford, M. (2017, April 25). The Power of Affirmations. Retrieved from Illinois Extension: https://extension.illinois.edu/blogs/refill-your-cup-self-care/2017-04-25-power-affirmations

Flynn, B. (2019, May 28). Revise Your Beliefs. Retrieved from OSU Leadership Center: College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences: https://leadershipcenter.osu.edu/blog/tue-05282019-515am/revise-your-beliefs

Limiting Beliefs. (2022, February 17). Retrieved from UC Davis: Office of Educational Opportunity and Enrichment Services: https://opportunity.ucdavis.edu/sites/g/files/dgvnsk2741/files/inline-files/limiting-beliefs_0.pdf

Pearce, A. (2021, August 19). Reframing Self-Limiting Beliefs. Retrieved from The Open University: https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/psychology/reframing-self-limiting-beliefs

Session 6: What Do You Really Believe? WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS. (2022). Retrieved from Atlantic International University: https://courses.aiu.edu/COACHING%20AND%20PNL/session%206/BELIEFS%20PDF.pdf

Shoemaker, A. (2021, December 20). No More Limits: What Are Limiting Beliefs & How Can You Overcome Them? Retrieved from Anne Shoemaker: https://anneshoemaker.com/what-are-limiting-beliefs/

Wegner, D. M. (1994). Ironic Processes of Mental Control. Psychological Review, 101(1), 34-52.