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It’s hard to be grateful sometimes. Especially when we’re down on our luck, which can be a lot of the time. Yet, we may try our best to stay thankful. For how can we be happy if we are constantly focused on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we do have? It is, after all, our focus that dictates our life perspective and paradigm. What we focus on determines the quality of life we have. And in a life where we keep wanting, wanting, wanting more and more and more things, the quality of life may not be so great. We’re most likely not happy because “more” will never be enough. “More” is never enough. Gratitude and wanting what we have is.
Benefits of Gratitude
Gratitude has many benefits. Wanting what you already have, for instance, leads to happiness and improved satisfaction with life. Rabbi Hyman Schachtel (1954) proposed that “happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have” (McKibban, 2008). If you redirect your focus from having what you want to wanting what you already have, it leads to gratefulness. Plus, the more you focus on the good you have, the more that good things you will notice come. If you want to be happy with what you have, it rests in gratefulness.
Making gratefulness a habit is also beneficial. Long-term grateful contemplation enhances long-term well-being (Joshya A. Rash, 2011). This better well-being includes: better sleep, boosted immune system, improved physical health, improved mental health, improved relationships, increased optimism, enhanced empathy, and reduced aggression (Fulton, 2020; Morin, 2015).
Making Gratitude a Habit
Making gratitude a habit isn’t so hard. You can practice it in many ways like:
- Journaling in the morning with some gratitude exercises like making a list and adding one thing you are grateful for to your list a day,
- Meditating in the morning on things you’re grateful for,
- Being mindful of the little things and not taking them for granted such as that wonderful flavor of the food you are eating and noticing how nice the wind feels on your face in a sunny day,
- Helping people in need,
- Nurturing your relationships such as letting people know how much you appreciate them or giving gifts to those you are thankful with,
- Posting visual reminders, collages, and pictures of things you are grateful for in your room, and
- Focusing on wanting what you already have such as your strengths, relationships, experiences, and opportunities
(Fulton, 2020; Conlon, 2022; McKibban, 2008; Kennedy, 2020; Kromer, 2020).
For how can we be happy if we are constantly focused on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we do have? It is, after all, our focus that dictates our life perspective and paradigm.
-Karina Margot Gutierrez
How to Stay Grateful During Hard Times
You might say, “it’s easy to be grateful when you have everything going for you, but what about when you are down on your luck, mourning, heart-broken, or going through eviction?” Yet, it is in those moments when it’s the most necessary to be grateful for what you have. It is in the hardest of moments that you need gratitude the most to get you through those hard moments. In those days, you want to:
- Carefully examine your gratitude list, visual reminders, and collages that you have been working on and picture the things you are grateful for as vividly as you can. After vividly visualizing them, meditate on what you saw to remind yourself of why you are grateful for said thing.
- Go out and look for opportunities to help those in need by volunteering your time, buying food for the homeless, or even helping an elderly person cross the street or get off the bus.
- Have a gratitude conversation with someone in your social support network (Kromer, 2020). Let them know you are having a hard time keeping a positive and grateful mindset due to what’s going on in your life. Let a natural conversation take place and end it with what you are thankful for.
- Reflect and repeat. “Take a few moments to reflect on how your gratitude exercises went and commit to at least one act of gratitude every week” (Kromer, 2020).
References
Conlon, C. (2022). 40 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude. Retrieved from Lifehack: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/40-simple-ways-practice-gratitude.html
Fulton, B. (2020, October 27). The Benefits of Gratitude and How to Get Started. Retrieved from Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-gratitude-practice
Joshya A. Rash, M. K. (2011). Gratitude and well-being: who benefits the most from a gratitude intervention? Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 3(3), 350-369. doi:https://doi-org.csulb.idm.oclc.org/10.1111/j.1758-0854.2011.01058.x
Kennedy, M. (2020, December 15). 5 easy ways to practice gratitude and make giving thanks part of your daily routine. Retrieved from Insider: Health: https://www.insider.com/how-to-practice-gratitude#:~:text=5%20easy%20ways%20to%20practice%20gratitude%20and%20make,practice%20even%20during%20a%20hectic%20or%20busy%20day.
Kromer, E. (2020, March 24). How to cultivate gratitude during difficult times – and why it can make us all feel better. Retrieved from University of Washington: Foster Blog: https://blog.foster.uw.edu/cultivate-gratitude-difficult-times/#:~:text=Fehr%E2%80%99s%20five%20steps%20to%20gratitude%20in%20tough%20times,at%20least%20one%20act%20of%20gratitude%20every%20week.
McKibban, J. T. (2008). Is happiness having what you want, wanting what you have, or both? Psychological Science, 19(4), 371-377. doi:https://doi-org.csulb.idm.oclc.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02095.x
Morin, A. (2015, April 3). 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude
